


It really hurt ...you know

by GreenHunter05



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24931375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenHunter05/pseuds/GreenHunter05
Summary: Coming back from a mission leaves heartbreaks and new beginnings
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 3





	It really hurt ...you know

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I know that this really bad but I wanted to post something new, I will at some point take it down and re-write it.  
> Tell me what you think tho about the plot.

They were on a mission, dangerous one but to be fair they can't live without danger. But something was different about this mission. Because when they come back to the Avengers tower, Tody was surprised to see Clint coming in with blood coming from his hand and with fear on his face. Next ones to show up was Bucky, Steve and Natasha. Steve was holding onto Bucky because he got shot in the leg, Bucky was carrying Natasha who got stabbed in the stomach and passed out from the blood loss, Bucky got shot in the shoulder (the good one ) and even if it hurt carrying her he couldn't let go he didn't let go all the way. He tried to help everyone because he was the only one that wasn't so badly injured. He first helped Natasha by cleaning the wound, putting a bandage on it and moving Steve closer to her so he can put some pressure on it. He then goes to Clint.

"Take care of them first, Nat is in a bad shape, Cap isn't looking so well and somebody needs to get us out of here! " Clint told Bucky, but his eyes quickly drifted to the blood that was coming from his arm it looked deep.

"How about your arm, would you be able to pilot this thing ?" Clint nodded

"Yeah, the cut isn't that deep, I'll take care of it when we get to the Tower now go and don't let either of them die, cause you gonna have your ass kicked by some angry Avengers!"

With that said, Bucky got to work. He cleaned Steves wound and put a bandage on the leg, he also saw that Steve passed out for a while now so he took his place in putting pressure on Natasha wound.

" Come on Nat, don't do this now !"

As not so many know Nathasa and Bucky go way back, but he still didn't remember everything about her, but he remembers that he loved her once and it hurts to see her like this. But he also knows that Steve has same feelings for her and that she does too so he will act like he doesn't remember her still and if that one day she finds out that he remembered her all along he prays to God that he will be dead already. And without even knowing if they were already in The Tower.

Tony still confused but ready to help went straight to Nat to see if she was okay, by the looks of it not so much.

"Bucky, bring her here! "

Tony showed Bucky was to put Nat and he very gently did so. After that Tony was running around the lab so he can get everything ready, Where the hell is Banner when you need him, though Tony so he put Jarvis to find Banner for him and call Pepper as well. Since Tony became IronMan Peper thought that it will be a good idea to take some courses so she can patch him put if is nothing too big. Bucky was helping Clint with his wound now, apparently, the cut was deeper then it seemed so he needed stitches.

" You should've let me look when I told you too!" Bucky was angry at Clint for not accepting help when he needs it.

"If I did that Nat wouldn't have survived and neither would've Cap so you should be thankful that you kept them alive!Thank you by the way, for keeping the redhead alive! "

" Don't thank me yet, do it when she is gonna kick ass again! "

Clint laughs at that one because it was mainly true. Bucky smiled because he knew he was right. After he finished he helped Steve who he found unconscious next to Natasha's bed, God Stark moves fast Bucky thought to himself. he went to check on Steve but when he touched his leg so he can see the wound, Steve jumped awake while saying.

"Natasha ! Where is she ?" failing to stay up, Bucky had to catch him and put him back in his place.

"Calm down, buddy! See, she is right there not awake yet but she is breathing! "Bucky said to calm Steve a little bit.

And it worked Steve's heart slowed down a bit not to his normal phase but close enough to it, he was looking at Natasha, at her red hair that even now was looking perfect, her pink lips not so pink anymore, her skin it was so pale that if you didn't saw the monitor showing her heartbeat you would've believed that she is dead. Steve didn't want to think of the 'what if' he knows that she will make it, she is the strongest out of all them.

"Done, buddy !"

Steve looked towards the voice only to find Bucky with a weak, sad smile on his face, with bandages on his hands, he looked to down to his leg to see that it had a new bandage on, he looks back up to Bucky. Bucky saw the pain in his eyes, and he knew that it hurt so damn bad that you wanted to scream, hit something, it hurt so damn bad that you could kill just for the pain to go away, he and worst part is that he could not do anything to ease his best friend pain.

" Get out, me, Banner and Pepper are going to try to keep her alive and to treat her wound please don't make me do the same as I did to Clint cause I just don't have the power, I will save her and if I can't then you 4 can kill me! Sam is here by the way! " Tony said to them and you can see that it wasn't easy for him to do this so the boys took one last look to the girl that changes their life and got out only to see Clint and Sam on the other side.

" What we do now? "

" We wait! "

The boys stood in silence for a while until Steve got up and walked away he could not stay a second more, this was all his fault, he was the one that didn't look for her, he is the one that got there too late, he did this and if something happens to her...Oh god, I can't live with myself. He let the tears that he had kept in his eyes finally escape, he was so angry with himself that he hit the nearest wall that he found until all was left were a whole. Exactly as the hole in his heart.

"Hey, what did the wall did to you ?"

He turned around to see Bucky by his side with puffy and red eyes like he has been crying for hours or he holds the tears for so long that when he finally let them out, they were pouring like rain.

"I know you are blaming yourself for what happened to Nat but you didn't do anything wrong! I wanna blame someone blames me! I was the one that was supposed to have her back but when two guys attacked me and one of them started to say those God damn words, I panicked so I didn't look at Nat because I knew that if they turned me into Winter Soldier, we would be crowded, so I took care of them first then I heard a gun goes off so I looked at Nat but she was fighting one agent so she was fine but then I looked at you. You shot so I came to you, then Clint took take of the rest and he came to help me, help you, and then .....then Nat came towards us but something was different, she looked scared and in my whole life I haven't sow her like that, her hand on her shoulder with blood on in she collapsed and I caught her and you know the rest you know. So don't blame yourself or me swear to God I will kick your us!"

Steve was surprised by how much Bucky cared about Nat in the small amount of time that they spent together. Confused by some of the words he said about her, I mean he talked like he knew her for longer than this. He felt sorry for him, that he feels this way but then again is the same way he feels. I think everyone from the team got attached to her for different reasons. Steve was going to ask Bucky why he said that he haven't seen her so scared in his life, between them he knows her better than Bucky, but Steve got interrupted by Pepper.

"Hey, boys!

"How is she ?"Steve and Bucky said at the same time without realising.

"She is going to be fine, it took so long because the knife or whatever object she had been stabbed with got a little deeper then we thought, right now she is weak but Clint and Sam are there with her but they need to go and take care of something so you can go in later if you like !"

steve was so happy that Natasha was okay that he immediately hugged Pepper, which she expected and returned after that he got another hug from bucky and then she when off to find Tony who was still affected by all of this. But she felt good that she helped the team with something but she also wished that would've been something else the life and death situation.

the boys were slowly starting to make their way to see Natasha when they finally arrived they sow Sam and Clint going somewhere.

"Hey, where you going !" Steve shouted after them

"Nick called us is about the mission we will be back soon! Take care of Nat for me boys, would you? " Clint asked them, he didn't wanna go, he would much rather stay here with Nat but he knows that is better to go now than later.

"Always!" The boys said again in unison

Sam and Clint were gone now so Bucky and Steve got inside Natasha's room, she was lying there on the bed but she looked better, her skin wasn't pale anymore, her lips were pink again and she looked alive. Steve stood right by her side and took her small hand in his, that's when he realised that he found a feeling that he thought he lost long ago, the feeling that he belonged to someone, of course, he had it once upon a time with Peggy but when she passed away that feeling did too, and of course this feeling is different when you talk about the team or Bucky. No, this feeling means a lot more, is the feeling that shows you that you found love. Across the room Bucky was watching Steve and he decided that what he was going to do was for the best, I mean Nat wouldn't give him another chance anyway and he probably deserves it as well for all the bad things he did in the past and he knows that he couldn't help it and all that but you can't make that kind of guilt go away so easily, but maybe someday he will at least give himself the chance to be happy.

Steve was still thinking about what Bucky said earlier, I mean is it possible that they know each other more than he thinks they do.

" Bucky ?"  
"Yeah?"

"When you were talking earlier about Nat you were saying all that stuff as you knew her better than anyone! Do you?

Bucky didn't know how to tell his best friend that he loved her first and that he still does. But something in him knew that he had to even if it hurt Steve but more important even if it hurt Natasha.

"When I was working with Hydra, they had this connection with the red room, they were looking for the perfect super soldier and the perfect Black Widow as you can imagine I was the first winter soldier success and the only one so they put me to train the Black Widows. That's where I meant her, I was her teacher, I thought her all I knew about fighting and how to defend her self but on the way, I fell in love with her. And can you blame me? She was the only one that cared for me, trusted me, loved me, and somehow she was the first one to bring my memory back. I loved her so much... I still do."

Bucky stopped because he felt the tears starting to gather in his eyes, this hurt saying that he still loves her but he knows that he can't have her. Steve was shocked, he can't believe that Bucky his best friend and Nat the girl that he loves were together in the past. He wanted to ask so many questions but how would he start, what would he even ask? But the words that came of were:

" Bucky...i"  
"Steve I haven't finished, I know that I still love her and I think I will never stop but... I don't think she loves me anymore, in fact I know for sure! "  
" His do you know for sure Buck? "  
"Because she loves you!"

Steve was in shock again that day something inside him just light up, he didn't smile or laugh or say anything but something just caught fire in his heart and soul, something he never felt before. But our buddy Bucky was feeling quite the opposite, like something torn his heart apart, chuck it on the floor and step on it, and oh God how he hated it. The boys stayed in silent until everything they said or heard was processing but they didn't know that another pair of ears were listening, and oh man they were mad.

"You son of a bitch!"  
That was Natasha's first words that made the boys break the trans that they were it and look at the beautiful redhead girl.  
" Steve, would you mind waiting outside for a bit? So you won't she hi she is gonna kick my ass from the hospital bed without even moving."  
" Sure thing! Good luck buddy! "  
Does it matter in what situation she is or all of they are you always know that you need to leave the room when Nat is angry.  
She felt betrayed angry, miserable, how could he do that to her not telling her that he remembers her that is the least he could do, maybe she moved on, maybe she loves somebody else now but Bucky was a really big part of her life, and she loved him with all her heart she waited for him, with the hope that he will be back and that he will be her Bucky and that they can make it.  
"Nat..."

"Just tell me why James !"

Her voice was shaking and tears were at the age of her eyes. Bucky couldn't see her cry, she was already his weakness but seeing her cry made him feel so much pain, he had to find a way to make her happy and he did by letting her go.

"Natalia, you know well how much I loved you and I still do love you so much, but I can't make you happy if somebody from hydra just says one-word od that thing I'm back at being the winter soldier and I don't want that. I don't want you to get hurt again because of me, I just can't have that. Plus I know that you don't love anymore, I know that you love Steve and that he loves you, and I know that he can love you in a way that I never could. He can keep you safe, he can love you better then I did, you deserve someone like him and he deserves someone like you. But if you ever have a change of heart and you want to try this thing between us again ill be waiting for you, or if you need a friend I'm here or if you won't be to kick Steves ass because our to bored to do it yourself ...Nat you mean a lot to me and I want you to be happy, and Steve is a great guy and I couldn't think of a better person for you so go and be happy and live this life to the fullest got you can even adopt kids with him and just go somewhere and grow old with him, have grandkids, or don't but be happy Natalia because you deserve it and I'm sure as hell that you know that but you just think that you don't, you're used to it. Be happy please!"

As tears were shed from Nat and Bucky and pieces of hearts were braking as the two people in the room were very silent. Nathasha didn't even know what to say after this. she was sad because she lost him, she was angry that he didn't fight, she was happy that he thought that way about steve and that he doesn't mind, she was relieved because she knows now that he did love her.

"James ....i ...I'm sorry for not telling you the truth sooner maybe we could've been happy together, and that maybe we could've had everything that you said ... I loved you for so long that when I started to have a feeling for Steve I thought that they were something new ... I didn't though it was love. James, I will always love you and ill never stop, I will love you forever and I don't blame you for anything ...and don't you dare that someone can love me better than because you loved me in every way possible and I don't regret what we have. But my heart decides to give herself a break and when that happens I have fallen in love with Steve! I'm so so so sorry James! " 

Nathasa was crying so much that she started sobbing. Bucky moved closer and took her between her arms, and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

"Shhhh, come one where is Nathasa that I know and love that girl that never cries? " 

"Maybe she took a break and Natalia came back to play !" 

they let go of the hung and looked in the eyes of each other, they leaned forward and touched their foreheads together.

"goodbye, Natalia !"

"Goodbye James !" 

with that said and with one last look accompanied by a sad small smile, bucky leaves the room. She couldn't believe that he loves her that much that he was willing to let her go. that's the James that she knows and loves. because she was lost in thoughts she didn't even notice that someone walked in the room. Steve come closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder so she could get her out from her trans.

" How are you doing ?"

Steve's voice was so calm but at the same time so worried, she knows that he cares about him and that she cares about him too. She looked up at him meeting his ocean blue eyes, and that smile that assured her, that he is there and he isn't gonna leave.

"I'm fine! You don't get rid of me this easily!"

She smiled at him, but not the smile that she does when she is flirting or knows that she is right, it just her normal smile. She was happy.

"Nat, I want to tell you something!"

"I know Steve! Me too !"

Steve face lighted up at her, that feeling in his chest that he couldn't figure it out, he finally did....and it was good. Natasha was feeling the same way.

Steve come closer and closer to her until their faces were inches apart. Nat closed the space between them with a soft kiss, God those lips that she wanted to kiss for so, so long and she finally did. When they broke off, they just looked in each other's eyes while smiling like two kids in love which they were.

"Are you gonna break my heart, Romanoff ?"

" We'll see about that!"


End file.
